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Write one leaf about waiting for something or someone you are not sure will arrive.

August 21, 2011

writeoneleaf:


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Right now I’m simply waiting for someone to hire me. Been waiting for that for over 2 years now. I don’t have to have benefits, but it would really help, especially since my health insurance premium is so high. I just want full-time hours every single week so I can make enough money to pay for all the bills, groceries & meds that I pay for now, plus have enough for doctor’s appointments (some of which I’ve completely skipped because I simply don’t have the money for them) & driving lessons (I need my damn license & car NOW).

I was hoping to have a job interview today, as that would have made things easy for me. But no, nothing is ever easy for me, not even the things that should be easy. I won’t go into detail on that, but I will say that my family & my lack of a driver’s license compounds the shit out of all my other problems.

I have to wait until Wednesday to interview one last time for the job I really want. I have to wait another three days to see if this will be my light at the end of the tunnel. I already know I’d get benefits with this job even if I’m working part-time, so if this job gives me the full-time hours I want (it sounds like it might), it will work just fine. But even though they’ve already said they want to hire me, I know better than to believe that they definitely will.

I’m just so tired of waiting for my life to move forward, especially when I’m already doing everything in my power to push it forward and nothing is happening. It’s not like I’m sitting on my ass doing nothing. I have a webstore, I get paid for writing things online (but it doesn’t pay nearly enough), I’m building up my personal brand (Cherry Ambition) in anticipation that something will change in the future and I can use my brand to make more money for myself and a far better lifestyle— or just life, period. It’s literally money, a lack of a driver’s license & uncooperative parents holding me back. That’s it. If I have money, then I can pay for driving lessons since my parents are of no real help in that area, particularly my mother. Heck, if I had enough money, I could get the driving lessons, pay for my own apartment and move out on my own and be free of a lot of crap that I shouldn’t have to deal with at all.

But no… I’m waiting for a job. I’m waiting for someone to see my potential and hire me so I can make money, take some of that money and make more money & opportunities with it. I’m always spinning my wheels and waiting… waiting for something that might never happen.

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